The Day President Uhuru Almost Deported Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore

You might have heard of the warrant of arrest issued against Bob Collymore and other Telco CEOs recently for not implementing the mobile number registration for all subscribers.
When Safaricom CEO Bob Collymore received the CID summon, first he belittled it because he has always equated himself to a small god in the country. That is why he has been able to snatch someone’s wife and brag that the guy can do nothing about it. So the CID summon was a shocker to him and he promised to just send junior Safaricom legal counsels and not even the chief corporate affairs Claire Rutto or Nzioka Waita who is the Director of Corporate Affairs.
Bob then did the unthinkable while trying to punish the “stupid government of this filthy African state”, he disabled the access given to CID and National Intelligence Service to intercept Safaricom calls and track the location of every Safaricom subscriber.
The last move angered President Uhuru so much that he ordered the IMMEDIATE and UNCONDITIONAL deportation of Bob Collymore. Bob Collymore was immediately arrested and was being prepared for deportation when miracles happened.
It took the intervention of a junior Safaricom employee who joined politics and contested as running mate in the last election for the order to be rescinded. The employee pleaded with State House operatives to beg President Uhuru not to deport Bob Collymore and at least give him some soft landing because Bob Collymore saved the Safaricom employee with a senior appointment in the company after the embarrassing defeat in the last election.
For now, the randy CEO can rest easy that he is free to shag as many girls as possible as he rarely does anything meaningful in the company apart from being pictured with socialites and professional call girls. Even after his State House meeting, the head os state has promised never to entertain such nonsense.

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KQ SACKS its PR Manager And Former Citizen TV Host for Lying About Her Education

We once tweeted that Alice Odera who was then a TV host at Citizen TV never went to New York University or any other university nor did all those things she claimed that she did. She was a fraud who Royal Media HR couldn’t do due diligence on. Well, KQ has today discovered that Alice Odera was a stripper in New York and was deported from USA after the authorities discovered some ugly things she was doing.
After working for Citizen TV, Alice got a job at KQ without any papers. She always promised to deliver the papers which she claimed to have misplaced. Alice never did. So KQ had a function in USA which the PR manager had to attend. Shock on KQ, USA embassy flatly refused to give their PR manager a Visa saying that come what may, they wouldn’t change their minds.
With a little background check, KQ discovered all the ugly things Alice Odera was doing in USA. The national carrier discovered that Alice only went to New York University for 5 days. She was then to work as a stripper and drug mule in various New York neighbourhoods.
KQ security escorted Alice Odera out of their premises with the management furious that they were not smart enough to do proper background check on Alice. Alice claimed in her application for the KQ PR and Communications Manager’s job that she graduated at New York University, something which she knew was so false it wouldn’t sell anywhere.

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Collapse of Roof at State House Forces President Uhuru to Use Sagana Temporarily

President Uhuru Kenyatta’s move to repeatedly use Sagana State Lodge has confounded Kenyans. What most of Kenyans don’t know is that a roof at State House collapsed forcing the President to seek accommodation elsewhere. He has recently been forced to commute between Nairobi and Sagana daily as State House undergoes repair.

It’s believed that the main bedroom was the most affected room affected forcing the President to look elsewhere for accommodation. His communication team has been tasked with masking the real story with “impending cabinet reshuffle” story, which the mainstream media has eagerly bought.

President Uhuru usually stays in his private home just close to State House but that is also undergoing complete renovations for the last few weeks.
Meanwhile, US Secretary of State, John Kerry, complete;y refused to meet Deputy President William Ruto, completely embarrassing him. According to a team which was part of Kenya’s VIP security to John Kerry, Ruto’s determination to meet Kerry forced Kerry to spend the last night of his visit at a small residence in the US embassy.

The US State Department team did not reveal the diary of Kerry for the last day of his 3 day visit but left it open so that he could visit Pawa254 then fly to Somalia in surprise visit.
The real drama happened on the last day when Ruto decided to go to the airport to see John Kerry off. Even President Uhuru intentionally misinformed him that he could go and see John Kerry off. But that was not to be as The US Secretary of State took while Ruto was just passing General Motors.
John Kerry just like other sitting US leaders will not meet DP Ruto as long he is not cleared of the charges at the ICC in the Hague. That is just policy which will not change anytime soon.

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After she was given a Sh. 1.2m watch and a Prada bag, CORAZON KWAMBOKA has a new car

Corazon Kwamboka has hit the jackpot this time. In just one week, the socialite cum lawyer has been flashing expensive gifts from her new found love which include a $12,000 Rolex watch, a Prada bag and now she has the keys to her new car.

Check out her new ride;

 

 

 

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PHOTO!! Citizen TV’s LULU HASSAN’s Adorable son turns one…..

Citizen TV’s Lulu Hassan’s youngest son, Irfan, has turned one and in marking this day, her husband, QTV’s Rashid Abdalla, posted this on social media;

 

rashidyabdalla #sisemikitu Mwanangu @Irfan Leo amefikisha Mwaka mmoja(1yr). Tumuombeni dua njema za heri na imani ya nafsi.

 

Shukrani za dhati kwa mamake @loulou_hassan bila kusahau Muliwa.

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Rongai ladies have no shame ….. Look at what they do in matatus..Who can marry this ?

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Is RUTO a good student of UHURU KENYATTA? See what he did to a kid as he copies LUPITA’s adage

Deputy President William Ruto yesterday emulated President Uhuru Kenyatta and hosted students from Muranga County at his Karen residence the same way Uhuru hosts students at State House.
This was after a Standard Seven pupil of St. Thomas Academy by the name Spasha Mareka, 13, asked the Deputy President, while on tour of Muranga, to invite him to Nairobi for a cup of coffee and Ruto did not disappoint.
It all started with a poem titled My Inspiration, where Mereka chronicled William Ruto’s journey from the humble background of selling chicken by the roadside to a Deputy President.
He also used the occasion to request to share a banana from Muranga at a breakfast table with the Deputy President in Nairobi.
The poem moved Ruto to appoint of shading tears and he granted the young Mereke his request yesterday where he hosted him together with 45 other children from his school and teachers to a breakfast meeting at his residence.
Mereke also got the opportunity to be taken around the DP’s office where he was mentored to work hard to achieve his dreams.
And like Lupita Nyongo, Ruto told the pupils that their dreams are valid and that they should work hard towards their dreams.
“Your dreams are valid; all you need to do is work hard by being consistent and listening to teachers. This country offers an opportunity to every child to excel,” said Ruto.

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Here is Gaddafi’s Last Speech, before being murdered

In the name of Allah, the …beneficent, the merciful…
For 40 years, or was it longer, I can’t remember, I did all I could to give people houses, hospitals, schools, and when they were hungry, I gave them food. I even made Benghazi into farmland from the desert, I stood up to attacks from that cowboy Ronald Reagan, when he killed my adopted orphaned daughter, he was trying to kill me, instead he killed that poor innocent child. Then I helped my brothers and sisters from Africa with money for the African Union.
I did all I could to help people Understand the concept of real democracy, where people’s committees ran our country. But that was never enough, as some told me, even people who had 10 room homes, new suits and furniture, were never satisfied, as selfish as they were they wanted more. They told Americans and other visitors, that they needed “democracy” and “freedom” never realizing it was a cut throat system, where the biggest dog eats the rest, but they were enchanted with those words, never realizing that in America, there was no free medicine, no free hospitals, no free housing, no free education and no free food, except when people had to beg or go to long lines to get soup.
No, no matter what I did, it was never enough for some, but for others, they knew I was the son of Gamal Abdel Nasser, the only true Arab and Muslim leader we’ve had since Salah-al-Deen, when he claimed the Suez Canal for his people, as I claimed Libya, for my people, it was his footsteps I tried to follow, to keep my people free from colonial domination – from thieves who would steal from us.
Now, I am under attack by the biggest force in military history, my little African son, Obama wants to kill me, to take away the freedom of our country, to take away our free housing, our free medicine, our free education, our free food, and replace it with American style thievery, called “capitalism” ,but all of us in the Third World know what that means, it means corporations run the countries, run the world, and the people suffer.
So, there is no alternative for me, I must make my stand, and if Allah wishes, I shall die by following His path, the path that has made our country rich with farmland, with food and health, and even allowed us to help our African and Arab brothers and sisters.
I do not wish to die, but if it comes to that, to save this land, my people, all the thousands who are all my children, then so be it.
Let this testament be my voice to the world, that I stood up to crusader attacks of NATO, stood up to cruelty, stoop up to betrayal, stood up to the West and its colonialist ambitions, and that I stood with my African brothers, my true Arab and Muslim brothers, as a beacon of light.
When others were building castles, I lived in a modest house, and in a tent. I never forgot my youth in Sirte, I did not spend our national treasury foolishly, and like Salah-al-Deen, our great Muslim leader, who rescued Jerusalem for Islam, I took little for myself…
In the West, some have called me “mad”, “crazy”, but they know the truth yet continue to lie, they know that our land is independent and free, not in the colonial grip, that my vision, my path, is, and has been clear and for my people and that I will fight to my last breath to keep us free, may Allah almighty help us to remain faithful and free.
-Mu’ummar Qaddafi.
May Allah 4give and grant you with Jannatul firdaus. Ameeen

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How Central Bank of Kenya with the help of the CID are Destroying Young Bankers Careers

Banks are daily exposed to fraud as they run their businesses. The Central Bank of Kenya (CBK) with the help of the Criminal Investigations Department (CID) established the Banking Fraud Investigation Department (BFID) which is now mandated to help banks Deter Fraud and advice on the best ways to help fight this white collar theft. Just like the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission, this department has performed very poorly with less than 3% convictions while at the same time destroying most of the bank employees’ careers by selective prosecutions.
As the name suggests, the BFID is solely established to see that the banks’ interests are upheld. I must agree that there are bank employees that are crafty and always out to defraud the banks by giving information to third parties; in society people are never equal. But there is a part of its report that the BFID will never disclose to the public. Sometimes the fraudsters are excellent at what they do that leave the BFID investigators conducting their investigations for months with no success, what next?
By now any educated Kenyan should know that banks invest heavily in insurance premiums. They range from fidelity (covers theft by a servant), and international fraud emanating from electronic transfers. Recently, standard chartered bank of Kenya lost over KES. 320 million and five employees were arrested and charged in court. Most of their charge sheets will never read “conspiracy to defraud” for this will not be compensated by the insurance companies. BFID is always working around the clock closely with the banks to make sure that compensation comes through.
Once the case in taken to court, the insurance companies will send their risk adjusters to for some court sessions, just for the record while innocent employees languish in remand prisons for crimes they are not aware of. On the other hand, the insurance company will pay the bank that eventually pays its customers silently to avoid reputational risk. Some cases will never see any page of the Kenyan dailies as the security departments in banks pay them up to “sit on the story”.
In June 2012, Commercial Bank of Africa lost over 77 million to fraudsters. The BFID (again) was called in to conduct their investigations they ended up arresting a junior officer who received the documents while a whole bunch of people who input the data into the system, the branch manager where the documents were received, the two authorizers at the head office, an inputter who broke the fixed deposit are all seated pretty in their offices. This matter is still in court. But how can someone receiving documents be charged with stealing and forgery while the “big fish” are spared; is this, not selective justice or prosecution? Ecobank, equity bank, and Barclays Bank name any bank and I can bet that there is no year that passes that there is no case of fraud.
In their yearly reports, BFID has continued to note that banks lose over KES 1.5 billion every year. The figure is no doubt a staggering figure with a part of the report indicating that this value may be higher given that banks prefer not to go public with fraud related cases, Of course due to minimizing their reputational risk.
Many bank employees have lost their jobs, some languishing in poverty and emotionally tortured by the incompetence of the BFID. This department should stand for both the banks and the employees, but an agency for the banks only will only make more bank employees suffer more and more.

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Photo! Avril feeling the warmth of Akon in Nairobi

On Saturday, Akon and Avril graced the Airtel Trace Music stars finale at Enashipai Resort and Spa in Naivasha. The two shared some moments together and here is a photo from the event 

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Photos of the 10 Most Curvaceous Celebrities In Africa. Vera Sidika Is Among Them

The battle of the curves! They are said to be the most voluptuous ladies walking on African soil. What these ladies possess makes men completely lose their sanity.

Shakira wasn’t wrong when she sang ‘Hips Don’t Lie’, a look at top twenty most curvy African celebrities will leave your tongue dry because the sublingual glands will have none to produce.
According to a list published by Amebo, Kenyan celebrities scooped four spots on the continental list. All of them were socialites with exception of Kiss TV’s Grace Msalame who settled for 13^th position.
Leading the socialite was Corazon Kwamboka who was ranked impressively third.  Risper Faith and Judy Onyango were ranked 17^th and 20^th respectively while the queen herself, Vera Sidika, was comfortable with the 8^th spot.
Crossing over to Africa, Ghanaian Actress, Princess Shyngle, lead the nineteen ladies as she settled for the first position. Ask me and I will say she didn’t deserve to be at the top.
My reason is simple, a quick glance at her fellow compatriot, Matilda Quaye, and you will totally agree will my opinion. What she has probably no one else has, at least not of her magnitude.
Matilda has even been nicknamed ‘Hipsy’, her Thighland is HUMONGOUS! Her single hip is equivalent to two of Vera Sidika’s hips put together. Yes! The lady is well endowed; the creator must have run out of clay while crafting her.
The Ghananian is a model-cum-video vixen. If she ever makes her way to Kenya, be sure the like of Vera Sidika will run out of business. Kenya’s Team Mafisi will thirst for her for months!
Enough of Hipsy for now, check out the full list and photos of these voluptuous ladies

1. Princess Shyngle (Ghana)

   

2. Joselyn Dumas (Ghana)



3. Corazon Kwamboka (Kenya)

 

4. Juliet Ibrahim (Ghana)



5. Peace Hyde (Ghana)


 

6. Tracy Obonna (Nigeria)



7.  Daniella Okeke (Nigeria)



8. Vera Sidika (Kenya)



9. Toolz Oniru (Nigeria)



10. Omotola jalade Ekeinde (Nigeria)

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Photo!!! Eldoret Matatu Makes A Fool Out Of Vera Sidika - See IT Here

The one and only Vera Sidika was honored by an Eldoret matatu. The irony of the rare adornment however will throw you off the chair.

Who said Vera Sidika wasn’t worth emulating? She is one of the few Kenyans who make millions within a snap of the finger. With such a reputation, certainly lots of people must be looking up to her.
Many may harbor hate for Vera Sidika but not Eldoret touts; they have mad love for the self-styled socialite, oh! Is it prostitute? Bet the two go hand in hand.
So these makangas from the athletic capital of Kenya decided to express their admiration for Vera with a conspicuous graffiti on their matatu. I think someone misinformed Vera it was a Nairobi matatu because she went full blast with joy yapping how Nairobi loves her.




Eldoret residents were however quick to remind her the mat plies on their route and not Nairobi as she earlier intimated. Sorry Vera!
Well, the irony of the rare admiration is very simple. As a matter of fact, most of folks enlightened Vera about it too. A matatu is a form of public transportation, everyone uses it. And remember you also get to pay for it, right? Now fast forward to the meaning of prostitute; typically a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.
So anyone can pay a hooker for a ride, connect the two; a matatu and a whore and you will see how Eldoret touts were making a fool out of Vera.
Go to the next page and check out some of the hilarious comments posted on Facebook after Vera uploaded a photo of the Eldoret matatu:

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THIS IS THE TERRORIST BEHIND THE BRUTAL ATTACK ON GARISSA UNIVERSITY

Today, we woke up to macabre images on Social Media of dead University Students whose bleeding bodies lay sprawled on the cold, hard ground.

The mastermind of this devilish attack has thankfully been revealed and the police have embarked on a manhunt to catch him.

Mohammed Kuno aka Gamadhere was named as the mastermind behind the ghoulish terrorist attack on Garissa university college  that has so far claimed 70 lives. The government is not taking any chances and has offered a 20 Million bounty for his head as it is believed he is still in the country.

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Here Is The Most Beautiful African First Lady!! Oh My!

She is married to one of the most powerful men in Africa. She knows his deepest secrets, his deepest fears, insecurities and other things which we are not privy to.

Meet the hottest first lady in Africa - Chantal Biya, The First Lady Of Cameroon

 

 Click here to view more photos of her

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How to make money online in Kenya through iwriter

Thousands of Kenyans make money online today working at iwriter.com.  iWriter is open to clients and writers from all over the world.  It is very easy to register and work on this site.   Before you can start making money online in Kenya through iWriter, you must have the following things;

1. A computer with internet connection

2. A word processor (e.g. MS word)

3. Good command in English
To register on iwriter, click here

A computer with internet connection: how to access iWriter in Kenya

To work on iWriter, you will definitely need ta computer that can connect to the internet. You can use a Safaricom, Airtel, Orange or Yu modem to access iWriter. Safaricom and Airtel modems can access iWriter without any problem. However, when you are using either Orange or Yu, you will have to use another country’s IP in order to get access. This is because iWriter has blocked these two networks. You can easily find an IP from US, UK, Germany, France and other places in the world for free from tens of free proxy sites available on the web today. 

The registration process is quite simple and straight forward. One you get access to iWriter, click on register at the top right side of the home page. Fill in all the required details. Click on ‘sign me up’ button.   

Hurray! You are now ready to make money online in Kenya through iWriter. Click on the confirmation link sent to the email you registered with to confirm your account. Enter your username and password to access your account. 

You will see a page similar to this when you log in;

To view available jobs, click on either one of the links circled above. 

How Much will I Be paid When working At Iwriter? 

Since you are a beginner, you will only be able to access the standard level jobs. Your pay rate will be as follows;

1000 words – $6.04 (approx. Ksh 495)

700 words - $4.05 (approx. Ksh 332)

500 words - $2.43 (approx. Ksh 199)

300 words - $1.62 (approx. Ksh 132)

150 words - $1.01 (approx. ksh 82)

Once you have been rated 30 times and have an average feedback of more than 4.1 stars, you will become a premium, writer. As a premium writer, you will be able to access jobs at the premium and standard level. Content writing jobs at the premium level pay as follows;

1000 words - $8.51(approx. Ksh 698)

700 words - $5.79 (approx. Ksh 475)

500 words - $4.46(approx. Ksh 366)

300 words - $3.24 (approx. Ksh 266)

150 words - $2.44(approx. Ksh 200)

If you your star rating is greater than 4.6 stars, you will become an elite level writer. This is the highest level on iWriter. You will earn as follows;

1000 words - $14.99(approx. Ksh 1229)

700 words - $10.13 (approx. Ksh 830)

500 words - $8.10 (approx. Ksh 664)

300 words - $5.67 (approx. Ksh 465)

150 words - $3.44 (Ksh 282)    

If you want to get the best pay when writing on iWriter, write carefully and choose requesters with good approval rate. Once you become an elite level writer, you will only need to write 4 articles a day to make approximately Ksh 2000.  If you are a good writer, some requesters who like your writing style will send you work directly (special requests). Special requests not only give you a constant stream of work but also make you to earn a higher amount per article. 

iWriter pays writers every Tuesday, Wednesday, 5^th and 25^th of every month. You can choose any of these days to be your payday and you will get paid provided your account balance is $20 or more. There is no limit to the amount of money you can make when working on iWriter. You earning fully depend on your hard work. 

How To Receive Your Payment From iWriter In Kenya

To receive your payments, you need to have a PayPal account. It is free and easy to open a PayPal account in Kenya. Click here to visit the PayPal website to get an account. Once you have a PayPal account, visit your profile page at iWriter to enter your PayPal details.  

To finally get the cash that you have been paid by iWriter in shillings, you can use the equity bank method, e-pay Kenya or the Payonneercard. 

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DIAMOND PLATNUMZ Admits Having Séx with His Blood Sister - Kenyan daily post

Word coming from Tanzania has it that Diamond who is currently in relationship with radio presenter Penny is related and worst by blood. The news has been do doing rounds on major blocks sending shock waves amongst many. 

The two have maintained a relationship despite claims that diamond would get back with his ex Wema Sepetu. Diamond’s grandmother and Penny’s grandmother happen to share the same mother, complicated as it sounds but technically according to the Tanzanians, these people are related and bound by blood like a brother and a sister. 
click here to know how you can make money online

When contacted, Diamond who is in Nigeria currently recording a song with Davido, admitted the claims that he is related to his current girlfriend Penny, “yes we are related but I didn’t know about this until recently” he admitted to Amani, an influential Tanzania blogger. 

Penny on the other side says the relationship has gotten even more tighter, “yes we are related and that has strengthened my love towards Diamond, I’m so much in love such that nothing is separating us in fact we are more tight now, what has happened has happened nothing can be done about it rather than accepting and moving on, he is the best lover in the world to give up to anybody for whatsoever reason” shrugs Penny, Diamond’s girlfriend. 
 click here to see photos of diamond having sex with his sisterThe shocking revelation was exposed to the public by a family member who us disgusted at the fact that the two are continuing to have a relationship and worse intercourse despite the fact of being related. Diamond failed to comment on whether he’ll abandon the relationship or not, the girlfriend on the other end says this is not dying anytime soon 

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JANET MBUGUA beaten hands down! Meet K24’s S£XY news anchor - Very pretty. Kenyan daily post

Her name is Karen Knaust Karimi and she has teamed up with Eric Njoka to spice up K24’s prime time news. Karen is a Diploma holder in Business Administration from Kenya Methodist University.

She was scheduled to appear at the fashion show on KTN with Vera Sidika but it was cancelled because of Vera’s demands. Check her out;

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Photo of UHURU KENYATTA's son, MUHOHO, celebrating during his birthday party

At 17, President Uhuru Kenyatta’s last born son, Muhoho Kenyatta had already launched his clothing line and was even involved in charity projects. This week, the youngster turned 18 and this is how he celebrated his big day;

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